Sunday, August 15, 2010

When it All Falls Down...

When I heard about Fantasia's suicide attempt, I felt bad that she had reached such a low point in her life that she would want to end it all. I hope she recovers and gets the help she needs. The sad thing is that whether she knows it or not, she put herself in this situation to begin with. We cannot see the future and love is often blind, but if we're smart enough we can avoid pain and sorrow.

Its just not cool to mess around with a married man. Ofcourse he played a HUGE part in the whole thing, and should be held accountable for his actions,(maybe even more so than Fantasia, because he was the one who was married) but she broke rule #1 in the Womanhood Code of Ethics: Get Your Own Man.

She says she was in love with him, and that he misled her into thinking he was separated from his wife. She obviously fell hard for him, as the enormous tattoo on her shoulder showed. Even if she did think they were separated, its just inappropriate to flaunt around with a man until he is divorced. As my grandmom would say: "it just don't look nice."

Its tough enough to be a woman these days without creating more drama in your life than necessary. Love yourself enough to know that what's yours is yours and what's hers is hers. Avoid this type of mess by being sure that the person your with is truly available.
There are always clues to pick up on, you just have to keep your eyes open.

We can go back and forth all day on the double standards for men and women, but there's some things that women who respect themselves just don't do. Its about more than just the other woman's feelings...its about recognizing that you're worth more than just half of somebody's love and time. Pursue a man that can be 100% yours and do not accept cheating in any form.

I'm not going to bash Fantasia for her choices, because its obvious that she regrets some of her decisions. I hope she comes away from this healthy, as a better person, making better choices and surrounding herself with positive people. We can also learn from her mistakes. Especially the younger girls. In life, you can't expect positive things to happen to you when you behave in a negative way. When you associate with negative people (i.e. a cheating husband) your life will be negatively impacted. Even if it seems like its all good, there WILL come a time when it all falls down.

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