Monday, March 31, 2008

Adventures in Cobbs Creek

There are certain places in the city that can honestly take your breath away. Cobbs Creek is one of those places that does it for me.
You probably wouldn't have known this because I'm talking about the part below street level...untouched nature...simply glorious.



Its like the air is different down there. Cleaner, thinner, more invigorating.



It was so beautiful. Everytime I go, its like I've never been. All of you writers out there, if you're looking inspiration, you should go.

It's also a perfect place for a good ole game of catch a girl, get a girl.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Okay I'm ready to share...

There's something that I need to share, that I have been resisiting for a while. I'm still not sure why, but I know it has alot to do with other people's perceptions and opinions.

I feel so strongly about this but I think that when people meet me, they expect me to be a different way, like intelligent people can't possibly feel this way. I attribute it to hate, but it still affects me.

On the other hand, I have to be true to myself and my feelings. Its something so special to me that I want to shout it across the mountain tops, but until now, only those closest to me have been able to share in something that brings me the utmost pleasure and comfort.

My love for Beyonce.

I know that there are millions of others who feel the way I do, but then there are atleast the same number of people out there who hate her as much as I love her. And I just can't understand it. She works hard, she's getting money, she's beautiful and she's black. She presents herself as a lady at all times, and loves her mama and daddy. What more can you ask for?

I can understand people having their own opinions about her music, which is cool, because you like what you like. Her movies...okay, again, you can have your own opinions. What I can't understand is the hate factor. I mean, I've actually met people who have said that she is ugly.

Since I started this blog, I've had to resist the urge on a daily basis to plaster videos, clips, and pictures that I took when I was hiding out in the bush---oh yea, I'm not supposed to talk about that. However, I can no longer resist. This morning, the world was graced with new material from our angel, and I have the pleasure and honor to share this newest masterpeice with the world. No video just yet, be patient kiddies, I'll post it when it's available.

Summer Time Hotness!!!!!!



Matthew and Tina have blessed the world yall, and the sooner you get that through your heads, the better off we will all be.

PS. I welcome debate on this issue.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Mustache on my finger

This is the funniest shit I've seen in a long time, and I think I might actually get one. It seems like it would perk up my day no matter what else was going on that was bothering me.

I saw it first yesterday, T-Pain showed his, and I swear I laughed for an hour when he threw it up.

Well, I found out today that it's like some kind of cult fad with a nationwide following...its called a fingerstache. LMAO. Seriously, check out this video:



I swear I'm getting one, and when ever people are pissing me off, I can throw it up and raise my eyebrow and everything will be alright again.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

if you're going to beat your kids...do it at home

Okay so the Easter outfits were out in full force today ...some a little overdone, but who am I to judge. The kids are the cutest, big frilly pink dresses, gloves and hats, just adorable.

On the way to pick up my kids, I stopped at a light and noticed an older lady, obviously a grandmother, pushing a baby in a stroller, with three toddlers in tow, all walking, and enjoying the Sunday afternoon sunshine. After grandmom makes it across the street completely, she must have forgotten about the last little girl, probably about 4 or 5 years old, who happened to be all the way on the opposite corner, and lawd hammercy stepped out into the street, attempting to cross on her own. There was a police officer in the row of traffic waiting for them to cross, and when the little girl stepped out, grandmom went back to grab her, and the cop pulled out in front of the traffic so that no one would run the baby over. To make matters worse, when the little girl finally made it across the street, she fell in her pretty Easter outfit, and literally almost fell into the sewer...thats how small she was.

Well, you would have thought it was World War III. Not only did grandmom grip her up hard out of the street, but she proceeded to slap her arond some more because the little girl was still crying. I dont know what came over me, but I couldn't take it anymore and something inside me came unhinged, and I blurted out "leave that baby alone." Yelled it. Loud. It was like I was watching myself do it. Somebody yelled out mind your business, but it didn't even phase me. Grandmom was startled, and I think she realized that not only was she out in public but also that the police were watching her too.

Now don't get me wrong. I have kids too, and I'm not one of those people who feel like kids shouldn't get spanked, because they should. Maybe even sometimes in public, like when they want to play dress up in Saks and they're running under and through the clothes racks...or the occasional time when they try to play you in public because they're around their friends...I could go on and on.

What I don't understand is how (and why) people will beat their kids down to the ground in polite company, or at all for that matter. My kids get on my nerves too, but is there EVER any reason to grip up your 5 year old and call him a bitch while other people are watching you? (Another Easter Day scene I witnessed)

I know some of you out there have witnessed what I'm talking about. Here I go getting all preachy again, but it just makes me soooo sad to think about the way that some kids are forced to grow up. If someone could be so blatant to abuse in the streets, imagine the treatment their kids endure at home, and the mark that it leaves on them as adults.

Love is all we need people...Love, and the occasional spanking.

Friday, March 21, 2008

And Now the News...

Rogue Stingrays????
Did you hear about the woman killed by the Eagle Ray in Florida yesterday???
What a tragedy this is...no one to blame, just a horrible accident that nothing can be done about. Can you imagine what it was like to see and experience this? When it happened to Steve Irwin (RIP Steve) it was a little easier to comprehend, but this is just absolutely random.
And then the damn thing was HUGE!!! They say the ray was at least 5 feet wide and weighed about 75 pounds!!!

Here's a picture of the little bastard...



I don't think that visor is going to fit him...

On a possibly related note, I know by now you've heard that our water supply is most likely contaminated with people's prescription drugs. I wouldn't be surprised of the damn stingray was high on xanax or something.

Stingrays can't fly.

Unless they're high.

Run Fat Girl Run

Are you sure?
Let me take off my shoes...
Okay, well, this shirt I have on is wool, so that may be it. Let me take that off too.
You know, I thought these pants felt a little heavy when I put them on this morning...
Hey fat bastard...it's you!!!

I realized last week that I've kinda let myself go. Not intentionally, and not to the point of no return, but still. I was 158 about 4 months ago, and I swear I don't know how or when those extra 14 pounds came from.

They say stress makes fat build up on you, and I may be the prime example of that. Being stressed causes you to be tired which causes you to be lazy which causes you to be 172 pounds.

I carry it well...people are always surprised to find out how much I weigh, but still I can feel the fatness, even worse the unhealthiness of it all.

I'm supposed to be starting on Monday...you know the Monday that never comes?

I'm gonna do it this time, I'm focused right now...

Ooooo did somebody say donuts??

Homer eating his donut

Philadelphia Femme Fatales

Okay so, Philadelphia has a like a million murders a year these days. The number one place in America where there is a good chance you will be shot to death by a loser who has nothing better to do than carry a gun on the damn trolley. Last month, there was the man who survived a tour of duty in Iraq, only to be taken out by a coward with a gun in his own home town. There's the story of the 17 year old boy, his body riddled with bullets - the shooter was so close up on him that the concrete underneath him was broken by the bullets and pieces of it were found in the boy's dead body. Its sickening. We have a new mayor...Mike Nutter, and he's got some radical plans for getting shit under control, like random stop and frisk (thats a whole other issue). We've got a new Police Commissioner, and you can't count out all the marches and visits from Bill Cosby...thank God for Men United for a Better Philadelphia...we're all just praying for a change.

What people don't talk about enough is whats going with the girls in the city. It's like since the focus is off of them right now, they're cutting up big time. About a month ago a girl got jumped outside her school and her face was slashed so bad that she had to get over 120 stitches put in to keep her damn nose on her face. I just heard about a group of girls terrorizing people on the subway like a pack of wild animals. I know that things are different from when I was younger, but when did this shit become cool? When did it become acceptable to act like Snoop from The Wire on a regular fuckin school day? Howcome there's not atleast one member of the group that has some sense of decency? Its like they're competing with the boys for cool points or something...its both distressing and thought provoking at the same time.

We have to get to the root of these issues, because the scariest part is that when these girls put down their razors, they're laid up making babies...babies who come into the world already behind the eight ball, babies who grow up to be...teenagers who terrorize people on subways. Its a terrible cycle that lasts for generations. The time has come for people who know better to step up and not allow the bullshit to continue. If you really give a damn, reach out to a girl you know who needs it and be her mentor. Show her a different world than what she sees on a daily basis and maybe you can help light a spark of hope where there was none before. Its so important, not just for them, or their children, but for all of us.

PMS is a powerful thing.

It so is.
Its way more than the time of the month that your significant other dreads, and its about way more than just a visit from Aunt Flow. Its like you become taken over by this invisible bitch monster that threatens to kill your spouse and eat your young. She reacts in ways that you yourself can only watch in amazement. Its like she pushes the real you out of the way and answers all questions for you, makes all your phone calls, all this for just one week though. After she goes back down into the depths, your back to normal, but people are still reeling from her visit. I'm realizing that people respect the monster bitch. Maybe I should invite her over more often than once a month.

It's a crazy thing. For example, the same things that may have happened to me last week, will cause someone to lose their lives this week. However, by the end of next week, it'll be all good again. The trick is to know what is going on and act accordingly. Ladies, if you're about to leave your man, or strangle your kids, look at the calendar and just be like...not today, ask me again next Thursday.

I was on the radio yestersay so "Google Me Baby"

Okay so, I was on the radio yesterday.

Teyana Taylor...the cute girl with the big hair from Sweet Sixteen was on the radio station in Philly and I called in and actually got through. She was talking about positive stuff for girls, so I called in and spoke to her and they aired it.

Thank you, thank you ...you all are too kind.

Anyway, I should have talked longer, maybe even plugged my business, but I got nervous (lol) and ended the call quickly.

Anyway, I'm a celebrity now. Self-proclaimed.

Check out her new song, Google Me Baby...its so cute, and she's really talented.

Wanna be in my crew?

Okay so for the last couple of years, I've wanted to learn how to dance...
No, seriously.
I've even teased my daughter that I'm gonna get krunk at her 13th birthday party, you can imagine how well that's going over.
Seriously, though. I really want to learn how to dance. Not just a drink and a two step, like really go to school and learn different styles of dance. No one in my family really has ever danced that much, but I do have one aunt who broke out and started ballroom dancing. She always says how much fun it is and how its a hard workout so her whole body toned up as a result.
My guilty pleasure is ABDC - America's Best Dance Crew...yea, and???
I haven't missed an episode since the show came on, and I watch it on the internet, and the reruns...I love it, I'm hooked.
I'm putting dance classes on my to do list, and by next year, my wu-tang is gonna be sick!
I'll finally get the chance to redeem myself after I was DENIED the chance to perform in the 10th grade color guard step show routine...bitches was hatin because I was the best self-taught dancing superstar they had ever seen.

Screw you Blue Team!!!





Oh Yeah and Jabbawockeez for the win all the way, Status Quo sucks it was rigged, we love you Kaba Modern, we know the deal.

I know who killed chivalry.

His name is Steve.

Everyday I see him, I'm amazed by his behavior, and then I remember who I'm dealing with. I don't know him personally, but this guy gets under my skin something fierce.
Its like are you really going to step on that elderly lady with the cane just so you can be the first one on the trolley? Is it really that serious?

You know how the trolley has a designated place to stop, but it could be one or two inches off...Steve likes to scoot left or right so that he can be ready and waiting when the doors open up. After he gets on he scurries to his favorite seat by the window, and puts on his super, extra large, industrial headphones and zones out in blissful ignorance of how rude and annoying he is.

Maybe its me. Maybe I should just mind my business...probably.

I can't though. It happens everyday without fail. The elderly, the blind, the maimed, the handicapped...no one is safe from Steve.

When will his reign of terror end???