Surrogates

I watched a movie today called Surrogates, starring Bruce Willis and a bunch of other people. The movie depicts the world...in the future of course, when humans have the ability to operate their daily lives as their ideal versions of themselves by using robot-like "surrogates". Surrogates operate in the real world while the actual human is at home attached to a machine using their minds to control the robot, and live their daily lives. The movie itself was kind of hokey, but the concept behind it made me think a little. What if you could design every aspect of your physical appearance to your liking? If you wanted an ass like Beyonce, you could have it. Boobs like Halle Berry, sure. Whatever you want, your surrogate can have, and people never have to see the real you, or any of the flaws you wish to conceal. The surrogate operates in the world as you, while you lay back in the comfort of your own home. Hmmm...

At first I was like no way would I do that...its ridiculous and incredibly shallow. But as I watched more, I started...thinking. What if I could program my surrogate to have hair that doesn't kink up in the rain? Then I would only need it for bad hair days. Nothing else. But...what if I could also get a six pack so I could finally wear that sexy bikini I bought? Then I would only need the surrogate during the summer months. Oh, and I hate going out when I'm PMS'ing...so I would only need the surrogate every month for approximately 7 days. Before I knew it, I had the whole calendar covered.

In the movie, no one went outside as themselves. There were surrogates in every city and country in the world. Seeing a "meatbag" on the outside was a rarity, as there were 35 million active surrogates in the world.

It was obviously a metaphor for our obsession with plastic surgery, and our refusal to accept our God-given attributes. Although having a surrogate body is a little more extreme than plastic surgery, I quickly learned that you’re on a slippery slope when you can pick and choose how you want yourself to look. Once you get that first nose job, you’re eventually gonna need a face lift. A boob job is nothing without a tummy tuck to compliment it…heck, why not just get a surrogate and design your body like a quilt! See what I mean? I wonder what the Big Guy thinks about it.

With all its vanity, the prevailing message of the film ended up being that we should all be happy being ourselves. I won't spoil the ending but the movie opened my eyes to some of my own insecurities that I need to address. So what if my hair turns to an afro in the humidity...that's what ponytails and headbands are for. Who cares if your ass is flat and your boobs are saggy, a few trips to the gym could help with that. The important question is: What's your heart like? Are you kind to others, and giving of yourself and your time? That's what really matters. Whatever improvements you want to make, make them to please yourself, not the outside world. Be yourself and not a robot.

When it All Falls Down...

When I heard about Fantasia's suicide attempt, I felt bad that she had reached such a low point in her life that she would want to end it all. I hope she recovers and gets the help she needs. The sad thing is that whether she knows it or not, she put herself in this situation to begin with. We cannot see the future and love is often blind, but if we're smart enough we can avoid pain and sorrow.

Its just not cool to mess around with a married man. Ofcourse he played a HUGE part in the whole thing, and should be held accountable for his actions,(maybe even more so than Fantasia, because he was the one who was married) but she broke rule #1 in the Womanhood Code of Ethics: Get Your Own Man.

She says she was in love with him, and that he misled her into thinking he was separated from his wife. She obviously fell hard for him, as the enormous tattoo on her shoulder showed. Even if she did think they were separated, its just inappropriate to flaunt around with a man until he is divorced. As my grandmom would say: "it just don't look nice."

Its tough enough to be a woman these days without creating more drama in your life than necessary. Love yourself enough to know that what's yours is yours and what's hers is hers. Avoid this type of mess by being sure that the person your with is truly available.
There are always clues to pick up on, you just have to keep your eyes open.

We can go back and forth all day on the double standards for men and women, but there's some things that women who respect themselves just don't do. Its about more than just the other woman's feelings...its about recognizing that you're worth more than just half of somebody's love and time. Pursue a man that can be 100% yours and do not accept cheating in any form.

I'm not going to bash Fantasia for her choices, because its obvious that she regrets some of her decisions. I hope she comes away from this healthy, as a better person, making better choices and surrounding herself with positive people. We can also learn from her mistakes. Especially the younger girls. In life, you can't expect positive things to happen to you when you behave in a negative way. When you associate with negative people (i.e. a cheating husband) your life will be negatively impacted. Even if it seems like its all good, there WILL come a time when it all falls down.