Surrogates

I watched a movie today called Surrogates, starring Bruce Willis and a bunch of other people. The movie depicts the world...in the future of course, when humans have the ability to operate their daily lives as their ideal versions of themselves by using robot-like "surrogates". Surrogates operate in the real world while the actual human is at home attached to a machine using their minds to control the robot, and live their daily lives. The movie itself was kind of hokey, but the concept behind it made me think a little. What if you could design every aspect of your physical appearance to your liking? If you wanted an ass like Beyonce, you could have it. Boobs like Halle Berry, sure. Whatever you want, your surrogate can have, and people never have to see the real you, or any of the flaws you wish to conceal. The surrogate operates in the world as you, while you lay back in the comfort of your own home. Hmmm...

At first I was like no way would I do that...its ridiculous and incredibly shallow. But as I watched more, I started...thinking. What if I could program my surrogate to have hair that doesn't kink up in the rain? Then I would only need it for bad hair days. Nothing else. But...what if I could also get a six pack so I could finally wear that sexy bikini I bought? Then I would only need the surrogate during the summer months. Oh, and I hate going out when I'm PMS'ing...so I would only need the surrogate every month for approximately 7 days. Before I knew it, I had the whole calendar covered.

In the movie, no one went outside as themselves. There were surrogates in every city and country in the world. Seeing a "meatbag" on the outside was a rarity, as there were 35 million active surrogates in the world.

It was obviously a metaphor for our obsession with plastic surgery, and our refusal to accept our God-given attributes. Although having a surrogate body is a little more extreme than plastic surgery, I quickly learned that you’re on a slippery slope when you can pick and choose how you want yourself to look. Once you get that first nose job, you’re eventually gonna need a face lift. A boob job is nothing without a tummy tuck to compliment it…heck, why not just get a surrogate and design your body like a quilt! See what I mean? I wonder what the Big Guy thinks about it.

With all its vanity, the prevailing message of the film ended up being that we should all be happy being ourselves. I won't spoil the ending but the movie opened my eyes to some of my own insecurities that I need to address. So what if my hair turns to an afro in the humidity...that's what ponytails and headbands are for. Who cares if your ass is flat and your boobs are saggy, a few trips to the gym could help with that. The important question is: What's your heart like? Are you kind to others, and giving of yourself and your time? That's what really matters. Whatever improvements you want to make, make them to please yourself, not the outside world. Be yourself and not a robot.

When it All Falls Down...

When I heard about Fantasia's suicide attempt, I felt bad that she had reached such a low point in her life that she would want to end it all. I hope she recovers and gets the help she needs. The sad thing is that whether she knows it or not, she put herself in this situation to begin with. We cannot see the future and love is often blind, but if we're smart enough we can avoid pain and sorrow.

Its just not cool to mess around with a married man. Ofcourse he played a HUGE part in the whole thing, and should be held accountable for his actions,(maybe even more so than Fantasia, because he was the one who was married) but she broke rule #1 in the Womanhood Code of Ethics: Get Your Own Man.

She says she was in love with him, and that he misled her into thinking he was separated from his wife. She obviously fell hard for him, as the enormous tattoo on her shoulder showed. Even if she did think they were separated, its just inappropriate to flaunt around with a man until he is divorced. As my grandmom would say: "it just don't look nice."

Its tough enough to be a woman these days without creating more drama in your life than necessary. Love yourself enough to know that what's yours is yours and what's hers is hers. Avoid this type of mess by being sure that the person your with is truly available.
There are always clues to pick up on, you just have to keep your eyes open.

We can go back and forth all day on the double standards for men and women, but there's some things that women who respect themselves just don't do. Its about more than just the other woman's feelings...its about recognizing that you're worth more than just half of somebody's love and time. Pursue a man that can be 100% yours and do not accept cheating in any form.

I'm not going to bash Fantasia for her choices, because its obvious that she regrets some of her decisions. I hope she comes away from this healthy, as a better person, making better choices and surrounding herself with positive people. We can also learn from her mistakes. Especially the younger girls. In life, you can't expect positive things to happen to you when you behave in a negative way. When you associate with negative people (i.e. a cheating husband) your life will be negatively impacted. Even if it seems like its all good, there WILL come a time when it all falls down.

This has been one of the most relaxing and enjoyable summers I can remember. Ofcourse, there's the stress of not having a job, but that stress is far outweighed by the joy I feel spending time with my family and creating the kind of memories with them that my mother created with me.

I realized a long time ago that I was not the type to work a million years for someone else and when I realized that it became more and more difficult to go to work everyday. Don't get me wrong, I've never been lazy, its just that I would prefer to set my own hours and receive inspiration from nature rather than be couped up in an office all day waiting for 5pm when I would be set free.

During this time, I've also been able to regroup and learn more about myself, which I could never have done before. Like many people, I was putting way more into my job than I was getting out of it. We all know that work will sometimes be stressful and demanding, but it should never be the most demanding or stressful thing in your life. NEVER!

I'll be going back to work in the Fall. Back to the hustle and bustle, back to dealing with nosy co-workers and miserable managers. But I've given myself a deadline: two more years MAX! Only two more years of being dependent on someone else for my income. To make this happen, I need to spend the next two years doing everything in my power to get my businesses fully functioning and be in a place where I can spend everyday enjoying the beauty of nature and relying on my own intelligence and intuition to survive. This summer has given me just a taste of honey...mama wants the whole beehive.

Sigh...

That is all.

I'm not a hater...I swear.

Seriously.
A hater is the thing that no one should be. It represents jealousy, envy and anger and I don't get down like that. I support everybody's come up and I'm constantly inspired by other people's success...
But....
If I have to endure the ignorance of another "reality show" I swear to Rob my f'in head is going to explode. Jeeeeez...

Every week there's a new dimwit on the screen...somebody who's point of view is supposed to instantly become important because they have a show on Bravo. Like I wasn't concerned about domestic violence until Monique's last episode...and I couldn't possibly have an opinion on immigration reform until LisaRaye blessed us with her insights. FOH!

Is your only accomplishment in life that you got smutted by a basketball player? Do you feel proud that your daughters see you on tv fighting and yelling in the damn street? Seriously.

What about the stories of millions of women like me who work hard everyday and struggle to make ends meet, but stay positive and focused on their goals and dreams. I guess that's not interesting enough...its more than a little discouraging.

I guess it says more about us as a society that the demand for this garbage is so high.

In closing: To all the Frankies and Neffes, the Tinys and the Toyas, the Snookis and the NeNes...I'm going to get a tv show and its gonna rock, and you all will not be invited.

Does Obama have to choose sides?

This whole Jeremiah Wright thing is very interesting to me. It brings up so many questions about loyalty and what it means to be Black. When Rev Wright was at those press conferences on Monday he insinuated that all Black people feel the way that he does. He said that Obama denounced his words only because he is running for president. It made me think. Do all Black people feel the way that Rev Wright does?He got an NAACP award and a standing ovation during his speech. I know atleast 40 people who truly believe that AIDS was started by the government and that President Bush actually talked to Osama on the phone to schedule 911. At first, it's a litle embarassing to hear Rev Wright talking like that for all of White America to see... but should I be embarrassed? Or should I believe that the CIA puts crack in the black community and that all US Presidents are part of some mystical secret society? It may sound crazy, but if millions of intelligent Black people write about it,talk about it and preach about it who's to say that its false. I know people who believe the matrix is real and will cite references to prove their points. It could be one of those things that is set up to be so ridiculous that it'll be dismissed.

I think that Obama should tread lightly on this one. He could really lose a lot of ground if he gets on our bad side. He seems to be more concerned about the loss of White voters than protecting the strong support that he has from the Black community. Black people respect loyalty. And their elders. If Rev. Wright can persuade all of the people who agree with him not to vote, Obama could have a serious problem on his hands.

It was a like Black People 101 watching Rev Wright dancing around on cnn...especially when my supervisor came to me talking about it laughing. I wonder if it makes white people look at us differently. Hey...maybe that's why Obama spoke out. To save us from ourselves.

Or maybe he really does not agree. How do we feel about that?

Bless yourself for heaven's sake...

I know some people think I must have been raised by wolves cause I don't say bless you. Their sneezes are met with dead silence and they look up at me like I'm some kind of heathen for not blessing the spit that is now covering their hands.

What does it all mean Basil?

Seriously.

Over the years, I've heard that you say bless you because of evil spirits that can enter your body when you sneeze...or because your soul could somehow leave your body if your sneeze is powerful enough...or because your heart supposedly stops for a second when you sneeze thus, the term is supposed to protect you in all three instances.

Wow. I thought I sneezed because there was dust in the air. Little did I know that all of these years my body was being filled up by evil spirits. Go fig.

Anyway, I am not a heathen. I just grew up not saying it. Partly because of my religion, but mostly because I just feel like its pointless.